Such a bad day...

I don't know why I feel like crying. I just do. I feel depressed a lot these days and I don't know why. I think I'm the happiest I have even been. I have a wounderful boyfriend who always try's to help me when somethings wrong, he drives 8 hours to visit me everyother weekend, and well.... he loves me, wants to merry me. I'm finished college now. I have a few very close friends that are willing to help me out when I need it and are there when I'm depressed.

I don't think I have a lot of big problems. It's a big mix of the little one's that get me. I make the problems bigger than they are. I just feel like there are sooo many of them. I don't know how to handle them all. The little things include:
- My weight, i know i'm not big but I just feel like I am.
-I have no REAL income. Sure I babysit but that's not the kind of money I need.
-I have bills to pay. I wish I never went to school. At least that bill wouldn't be so BIG

Why are you sitting alone you ask? Well, the reason is quite simple. After having an argument with my mother, Adam and his friend Gerard came up. They were going to use the meatle detector to go looking for spare change and stuff. The first five minnutes were fine. Low grass area, then they decided to go on to the quad trails. I couldn't go for a few good reasons. There is poison ivy, I don't have the right shoes or socks. As they walked down the trail I just walked back to the house. I don't think they even noticed. I would have loved to have some fun today. I could have gotten a tan, and had fun because when I get home it's going to be cool weather and there's no one there to do that kind of thing with. For me fun is NOT: watching people with their bf's constantley, cleaning a house or spending all day at the mall. I'm not prissy. I don't think about boys or make-up or acting like I;m thirty. I just feel like life is no fun anymore. Everyone else gets to have fun except me. I'm always alone and always unhappy.

I can just see how the rest of my life is going to be. I'll get bigg(er), never hear from my friends, and do things alone.

I may as well get used of it now because things are never going to change.

Just a few small things for today (^_^)

#1 I started to finally get that tan I wanted. Beautiful warm and sunny weather. It started out as a burn but is now a nice tan. Soon the day will come when I can wear my bikini and be at the beach. The other perfect thing (as a couple of my friends know) Sex, good sex. I've been getting it and it is all good.

#2 What I hate the most right now. People that walk in to other people's house with out them knowing or being invited. This drives me insane. When I get married to Adam and move down here (Pittsburgh) Adams parents will have a key and we will have a key but over my body will his grandfather have a key. Surprise of all guess who walks in to people's houses?

#3 This past Saturday Adam and Myself went to one of the sites where the cemetery scenes were taped. The two cemeteries used were Evans City and Livermore. We visited Livermore. It is located on private property, not taken care of and vandalized. It would be a great location for other horror movies. I will have to post some pictures.

And Finally...

"The travelers" A comic created by bradon aka Deacon Kole in 24 hours.